Thursday 8/25: Respect.

I guess it takes something to shift me in order to write. So, I've decided to stop writing two entries. I'm a busy person and I figure I can just merge them. I've been battling with a cold for the past week so I just feel like I'm juggling too much to write two separate entries.
I basically feel the need to vent discretely if you don't mind.
Tonight kinda set me off. So tonight I'll talk about respect or the lack of it sometimes. It's all depending on the way you take something I guess. But in this case I don't feel like I'm treating exactly as I should be. There- I said it. I don't feel the equality God gave us to live under. It makes me just wonder what makes people think they're better. Sometimes they have more experience in something. That's fine. I get that but I certainly don't think it gives a person a right to look down on others. Yes, sometimes you are given a certain upper hand. No- that's not the word. What I mean is you're given a certain position of authority that can be used well or abused. I'm not saying people always get on a power trip. Of course not. It's just how you take a situation. I guess I took this particular situation offensively. All people want really is respect. I want to be listened to. Don't we all? I want someone to really hear what I'm saying and take it into their minds and hearts. But sometimes there's blockages. That's how life goes.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Friday 8/19: Commitment.

Sometimes I wonder what commitment is. Can somebody tell me? Cause I sure can't figure it out..

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Thursday 8/18: School/Starting again.

So school has officially begun for me. Like I said, yesterday it's completely bitter sweet. New classes, same friends pretty much, starting over again. Tomorrow will be my first class and I will be tackling Chemistry. Breakfast with TayTay then off to the mind boggling subject of Chemistry. Let's do this!
This blog entry will be a mix of what I usually do. I have briefly reviewed what's up with me and now I will talk about the topic I chose for tonight: starting over. It kind of relates to school so I figured I motto as well. (Still suggestions for topics are sooo greatly appreciated, just shoot me a message!)
So, starting over. I guess it'a scary. I think so at least. I'm scared of change some of the time like a lot of people. We get stuck in our ways and anything different is just foreign and difficult to adjust to. Starting over could mean a lot of different things.
It could mean getting to a new town, city, state, or country and making it a home.
It could mean getting out and into or just out or just into a existing relationship.
It could mean starting at a new school, with all new people.
There are SO many possibilities. There are SO many difficult or different types of situations.
Every person takes starting over differently. When I think of starting over, I think of change. What do you think of? What has led you to start over in your life?
Again, something to think about. I do that a lot. I like unanswered questions. It gives me hope that someone will come out, tell me, and show me somebody is reading.
So feel free to do so. (:
Thanks for reading. Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Wednesday 8/17: Summer- the end and the memories.

Man is this bitter sweet. It's the end of summer. It went by so fast. Now, half of my friends are to be off to college soon and the other half are in school already or starting school with me tomorrow. This blog entry will be dedicated to the great memories I had this summer.
This summer I worked at girl scout camp, went to Mexico, and of course had so many laughs and fun times with my friends and family.
Starting off the summer was the graduation parties, and of course the graduation. I'm gonna miss this past years seniors a lot.
Then came girl scout day camp at Mount Toro. I had some wild times with those girls, my PA's, and of course my co-PA Riah.
Then after some chill time a lot of my friends and I geared up for Mexico and made that long trip to serve a wonderful family. I'm so blessed to get to be part of that.
The majority of the rest of the summer I spent chilling with my sisters and two of my best friends Amber and Taylor. And of course Faustino was there too, to make the good times even better. Me and Karsyn of course hung out too. I love them all. My true friends really made my whole summer. I had the time of my life and I'm sad it ending but I'm excited to get back to school and work my butt off.
So, summer I say goodbye till next year. (: I hope everyone's summer was just as great or greater than mine. <3
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Monday-Tuesday 8/15-16: Belonging?

Who all has never been lonely? Who hasn't ever felt lost of confused with the feeling like your heading into a fog bank blind?
I know I have. Isn't it terrible how you can be surrounded by almost all your friends and favorite people and STILL there's a strange hollow feeling? I feel it in my stomache, chest, or throat. Like in trying to have a good time but I don't know what's missing. Sometimes I get lonesome. I guess sometimes I feel like I'm there but I'm not really wanted exactly.
Who knows what I'm talking about here?
Loneliness can come from losing a friend or family member. Whether its to distance, death, or just changes that are made it happens.
When I'm lonely and I'm all alone I try to change that.
I try to make plans.
I dance like a freak.
I sing (badly most of the time).
I call or txt a friend.
I read my friend's blogs (which inspire me to great heights). (:
I read.
I OCCUPY myself because then I don't think about it.
I distract myself.
That's how it works for me.
But I'm still not sure where I belong. I don't know if I'll ever know.
I tend to feel a belonging feeling when I'm in church. I know it may sound silly but I really feel at home. I don't think anyone would guess it either.
I have such great friends as well. They make me happy constantly. I don't know how I'd cope without them. I have found out in the last year, my first year of high school, who my real friends are. I finally feel a little closure or something. I have lost a couple friends I thought were right for me but I feel better now with friends that I do believe I belong with.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Friday Saturday Sunday 8/12-14: Judgement.

Have you ever done something out of your comfort zone, just to try it on for size? Most of you I'm sure would say yes. Have you ever done something kinda strange and out-there, just simply odd? And have you instantly felt the judging eyes follow your every mood for at least half a minute after that?
What I'm getting at is that I think most everyone has been judged in their life here on earth.
Most of the time its un called for and not exactly fair. I know I personally feel judged often. It's not a fun feeling. At all.
I, myself, get kinda hot in the face, my stomach tightens, and my palms sweat.
I know, not on the need-to-know basis. I realize that we all take judgement differently.
Some people recoil and retract like a turtle back into its shell.
Others confront the problem person and ask what their problem with them is.
And then there's the people like me that are in the middle, that play it off like nothing has happened and paint on a happy face. For some people like myself, that's what comes naturally. It's easier than any other option.
Alright, anyways, ill reflect on some specific examples of judgemental situations.
1. When you laugh entirely too loud and tend to snort- unfair judgement. 2. When you fall flat on your butt or any other body part- unfair judgement.
3. When your clumsy- unfair judgement.
4. When your totally un cool and mean to someone misunderstood- fair judgement (why be a jerk? What did that person do to you?).
5. When you are on trial for a serious crime- fair judgement (they have a reason to judge you, its the law we're talking about here).
6. When you are trying so hard to catch a guy/girls eye- unfair judgement (its not their place to judge or business to get into).

My basic point is, most judgement shouldn't matter. It shouldn't get us down because its unfair. But the fact that it is unfair, upsets us. Why judge when you can just move on and not? I don't see the point.
Now, I'm not the best example. I judge before thinking too but I'm striving to be better. I want to put that away. I think we should all try to think before we judge.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Thursday 8/11: Beauty.

Beauty can be so easily misunderstood. Today, there isn't much of a strong, correct definition to this word. Beauty can be many things. It can be the way someone smiles, or how they love so purely without fail.
Who really knows the real meaning when there's so many?
Attractive.
Funny.
Great personality.
To me, its that thing that makes you realize why you enjoy the presence of that person.
I will give some examples.
I'll just list some of my best friends and what I think is beautiful about them.
Taylor- her crazy infectious laugh.
Karsyn- her quirky sense of humor.
Cassie- her ability to always be positive.
Michael- his funny, crazy self confidence.
Andy- his always constant ability to comfort.
Amber- her out going happiness that makes her glow.
That's only one of the things for each person that I think makes them beautiful people.
So what does beauty mean to you? Do you agree with me when I think about inside beauty and outer beauty? Or do you believe societies belief that as long as you have that plaster perfect body and face your beautiful?
Something to think about for sure.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

my life- entry 8

Thursday-
Today I woke up to Taylor whitening for teeth and getting ready for the day. I was in a daze cause I woke up to bright light shining in my eyes.
I eventually got up and washed my face and brushed my teeth.
I went down stairs, then went back up, got my crap, and Taylor drove me home. I took a shower at home and got all ready. Then I got my school stuff sorted out.
Me and Dad watched some tv and then went out for in n out together and then I went to youth group.
Youth group was good. We had a lot of fun honoring John Paul and Sarah. They sure will be missed. Hope everyone had a great day.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Wednesday 8/10: Hate.

Random picture again, I know. But I thought it was pretty and fierce.
Anyways, on to today's topic:
Hate.
This is something that I don't possess. I try my very best everyday to never say that I hate something or someone. It doesn't make sense to me. It is just such a strong word and to say it you have to honestly mean it. I don't say it because I know I don't mean it. I don't hate anyone or anything. It's not fair.
Does that make sense?
Honestly, who wants to be hated.
I didn't always used to think or be like this.
I thought I hated someone that I shouldn't have. He was and still is a great guy and great friend.
And I can't ever be sorry enough.
So what's really the point of hating?
I'll leave it at that. Something to mull over.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

my life- entry 7

Wednesday-
Summer is coming to an end soon. I start school soon and its finally starting to sink in. Almost a week exactly till my first day of sophomore year.
I'm excited but nervous cause I'm really challenging myself this year.
Anyways, what I did today:
I woke up late, showered, and went to go meet with my teachers to figure out my schedule.
Then I practiced piano and went to piano.
After piano I came to Taylor's where we played Monopoly (Taylor owned me) and Life (Faus dominated). Now I'm just chillin with Faus, Tay, and Amber. Fun times.
Probably gonna watch Scrubs in a little bit. I want ice cream or something sweet.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Tuesday 8/9: Sickness.

Sickness can take over.
It can consume.
It can break.
It can shake your life up.
It can wear you out.
It can end you.
It can tear you down.
It can make you give up.
Emotionally and physically, it is foul.
Nobody really wants to be sick.
I will always remember being a little blonde hair, blue eyed, innocent child bending over the toilet sobbing, saying "But Mommy, I don't WANT to be sick!"
It's terrible. I don't like sickness at all.
Any kind of sickness takes its toll. From Cancer to the common cold, it never seems fair. I know I am scared of cancer for one. I always will be scary. It runs in my family. I'm not just scared for me but for my Mom, my Aunt, my Cousins, even my little girls some day. I know Breast Cancer is not something fun to go through, let alone stand by and watch.
But theres other sicknesses besides Cancer. That's just a really prominent one these days.
There's diabetes too. It seems younger and younger kids are growing up having this. I know three kids with it. Two my age and one younger.
It's heart breaking seeing kids go through being sick. That's why someday I want to be a doctor I guess. I hate seeing people struggle of be in pain.
But for right now I can't do anything about it but pray. So right now I want to pray for the people all over the world that are sick or dying or struggling in life. And I also want to pray for their loved ones. Because its almost as hard watching someone going through sickness or hardship.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

my life- entry 5

Monday-
I apologize for not writing Sunday. I was quite busy and too tired to come up with anything clever to write.
So, here goes how my Monday went.
After staying up with Lacey and Jamie till 3 a.m. we went to bed and then woke up at 6. Yes, SIX.
We got up one by one to take a shower each and get ready to leave the house at 8 for Monterey. In Monterey we got some coffee and a bomb croissant at a French cafe. Then we zombies walked around for a while going to the bank and then walking to the Del Monte mall. We shopped till we felt like dying and had a pleasant lunch and got some cute stuff.
We then went back home to Lacey's at about 5 and ate a little when we got home.
Then, Jamie left and Lacey and I soaked our feet in Epson salt which didn't help all that much... And then my mom picked me up and I drove part the way home.
Now I'm just txting and listening to music.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Monday 8/8: Trust.

What is one thing you need to build relationships up? To lean on mentally when things get tense or uneasy? Something solid- like support. It's part of support.
Any guesses?
That's right: trust.
I mean, really? Who doesn't need trust?
It's practically impossible to survive as a social being without trust in life.
It's sad that we find ourselves not being able to trust a lot of people you tend to surround yourself with.
Sometimes its easier for people to not trust people.
I know it helps that I can intrust what I say with a number of amazing people in my life. A lot of them must know who they are if they're reading this.
Sometimes its just something people rely on.
It's something I honestly think is good to rely on.
Others just go on through life not being able to trust. And that workable perfectly for them. They can be completely content with it.
I personally really admire and respect that because I could never keep everything to myself.
I could never be able to keep stuff from spilling out of my mouth that happens to be boiling in my head. I need the stability of a knowing I can TRUST somebody with my feelings. That I can run stuff by my friends.
It helps me a lot to hear peoples thoughts and oppinions on situation. I guess it means a lot more to me than I thought.
Do you need someone to trust with the stuff going through your mind? Or are you able to keep it in and mull it over with yourself to avoid judgement.
Either way, I know it'll all work out in the way its meant to.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

my life- entry 4

Saturday-
Today I woke up and then fell to sleep...barely when I heard "GET OUTA YOUR MIND! GET OUTA YOUR MIND!" -Laceys ringtone. (x
It was pretty great.
I got up, showered, got ready, and went to Oak Hills to help Lacey out with the Yard Sale.
We cleaned up after a little while and then chilled.
We later went to the park to get a sign for the Yard Sale that didn't exist. We found a bike, took it, rode it around, had a hardcore adventure, and hung the bike from a tree.
We then went home, ate, and just hung out. We were trying desperately to figure out how to video chat with a PC/Mac.
We failed. Miserably.
Now I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance with my mama. (:
I hope everyone had as fun as I did today.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Saturday 8/6: Faith.

Faith.
There's so much to say about this topic. But I don't just want to preach my beliefs. I don't think I have to. I don't think I have to bombard people with that. I believe what I want and what I feel. I think that's what faith should be about. What touches your heart and plucks at those heart strings should be what you believe in my opinion. Maybe my opinion is something you don't agree with. That's part of how you realize your faith I guess. I disagree with a lot of people on faith. I'm not on the same level as faith goes with my family. Not at all. That's what sets me aside though. I am a non-denominational Christian. I don't judge others for what they believe in. I don't say they're damned to hell if they don't agree with my beliefs.
Nobody wants to hear that.
That's not what people want to think.
That's not encouraging to hear.
That will NOT change their minds.
That's not something you want people to know your faith for.
Who wants to think "oh, all Christians think all non-believers are going to hell"?
I like to think people will find their faith on their own.
I know that doesn't always happen though.
I realize some people just need a little insight and a little push to see what that is for them.
Faith can mean many things to people. I feel comfort and salvation in my faith. I feel it in my heart that I believe all that I do is the truth. It is the word straight from the mouth of God. That's just me though.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

my life- entry 3

Today I woke up at 11:30 at Taylor's, brushed my teeth, took a shower, ate breakfast, and ran errands with Faus and Amber while Tay cleaned the bathroom and her room.
I rushed home at 4 to change into warmer clothes and drive to Milbrae Bart Station and get on this train.
Heading to at&t park to watch the Giants play the Phillies.
Though...the game started 14 minutes ago, I'm excited.
This will be my 3rd Giants game. (:
Posey is out though...he's my favorite.
Amber, Taylor, and Faustino leave tommorow till Tuesday. I'm praying for their safe travels as they go visit their Grandma. I love them and will miss them till their return.
Hope everyone is having a great day.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Friday 8/5: Power/strength.

Strength.
Power.
Practically the same thing but there is a fine line that seperates them.
Power is the result of good initiative. That's what I define it as at least. Power can be misused though. Abused. Thus comes the phrase power-trip. I think if you use your power to work towards a better life then you're doing something right.

Strength on the other hand is a tool. Mental strength or physical strength. If you have both, good on you. Strength can help you achieve power, that's for sure. But physical strength tends to help you achieve fear from others as well. Like power, you can abuse strength too. You can use it to threaten people or situations. One good form of strength is moral strength. If your morals are right in check, you are pretty much set.
That's all I have for today.
Thankyou for reading.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

my life- entry 2

Thursday-
Today I got to sleep in.
So glorious!
I took a shower and then I made myself a breakfast burrito and watched some Jersey Shore -that's right.
JERSEY SHORE!
Wooh! Yess, then I watched some pregnant beezy and the Parent Trap.
I then went to the beach bonfire at Del Monte for @rk. It was pretty fun.
After that I came to Taylor's and we painted our toe nails and played Monopoly.
Amber schooled us all BUT I somehow miraculously kept my really big money maker $950 rent property.
I was proud. Still proud.
Also during the game Taylor slapped my forehead and hit my teeth with my glass cup while I was drinking and CHIPPED my tooth. Yes, chipped.
Now we're watching Scrubs. (:
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Thursday 8/5: Hope.

Hope is the faith you have in a situation. To have hope in something you have to believe in it. So I guess this entry is about belief to. The lack of it or the always constant presence of it.
And I apologize for the really late entry. I was busy all day as you'll know once I post my next entry. These entries won't be that great since its almost 1:30 a.m.
But here goes it.
Hope should be always present in someone's life. Now, I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life but it definitely helps to have at least a little hope. It's all keeps you going sometimes. You can't just always assume that nothing is every going to work out for you.
Honestly, that's just no good. It makes doubt more present in your life rather than hope or the belief that things may work out for you or anyone else. The good thing about hope is that you can live life knowing that even when things are at their worse, you will be okay. One of my best friends told me that and I honestly live by it now. It will stick with me forever.
That is hope to me.
To get up every day knowing its a new day, a new chance.
To not let hard times get you down. To not give up.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Wednesday 8/3: Support.

Support is something you need. Some people try to go it alone a lot. You know what I'm talking about. There's always the classic story of some extremely independent person going it alone and realizing in the end that she/he needs someone, anyone to be there with and for them. Like Margaret played by Sandra Bullock in the Proposal. Now sometimes its not always such an easy realization or happy ending. Don't get me wrong, those things do happen. Everyday. All around us. I guess sometimes movies and books give us a false hope sometimes though. That's just what I think at least. But I guess if your reading this you care what I say.
Anyways, back to support.
It doesn't matter where you get your support from. A co-worker, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, mom, dad, brother, best friend, etc. Everyone needs just a little padding to fall down on. Just enough that when you hit the ground it jars you but doesn't break you. Others need a soft, cradling impact. Sugar-coated you could say. No matter how you take support and make it work for you it needs to be there. You all need someone. Anyone. So who's there to catch your fall? Who's there no matter what? I'm so fortunate to have a few of these special people in my life. I hope you all are too.
Thanks for reading.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

my life- entry 1

Wednesday-
Today I dragged my butt out of bed at 8:45, showered, and got ready to go to the lake with Lacey. Unfortunately this plan fell through.
I ended up going to the Pixar movie marathon at @rk and chillin with the kids I babysit and Drew. (:
It was fun.
We watched Up, Monsters Inc., and A Bugs Life.
After that I went to Karsyn's and we just watched tv, caught up and had some good laughs.
Now I'm watching Step Up 3. I love dancing movies. I guess its cause o desperately wish I could dance. Buuuut, I sadly can't.
Oh well. Gonna write my second entry of the day a little later.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

sometime this early week: life.

What's that thing we are going through? The tough times, the laughs, the hugs, the happy times?
Oh yeah, life. Life is a gift. I know some people don't think of it that way. I respect that. But I do think life is a gift. Now I do at least. I didn't used to think of it that way. We were all given this chance to live. To love. To enjoy. To make something of ourselves. To sometimes wish to be different. Life is a scary place to get into. Life is sure a challenge sometimes. Sometimes you don't really know how to handle yourself or a situation in life. Do you have that problem ever? Thinking you don't belong? In this life, on this planet, with these people? We all belong. All of us. Some people don't agree with this. That's fine. Feel free to have your own opinions. That's another aspect of life after all. To think for yourself isn't easy sometimes. It all depends. Everything depends when you think of it. Mostly everything anyways.
I'll be trying harder to post every day again. I'll be hopefully be posting two entries a day. One about what's been happening with me and one like I've been posting lately. Hopefully you guys will read. All feedback is appreciated. I love hearing that people read my blog and that they enjoy it. And if there's any requests on what I should post about, feel free to suggest. I do get stuck sometimes anyways.
I hope everyones beginning of the week is going good.
Bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4